Thanks for the reply. I uninstalled oneteam, and installed spark. Its behaving the same way though..
I didn't know you had to "approve" adding someone as a friend, but users get no alerts/or msg to accept a friend request. At least on the spark client, it says, "Pending" next to the persons name i add. There is nothing on the other PC client to accept as far as i can see.
Am i missing something? Oh, and you can doubly make fun of me. A google search convinced me i spelled "Messaging" wrong, so i changed the server name, DNS reverselookup records etc.. only to find out i was right the first time... had to change them all back. ugh. lol.